My curiosity was definitely piqued in accepting an offer to read Cook Your Marriage Happy ($14.95, CYH Press), which uses cooking to help diffuse negative emotions in relationships.
The author, Debra Borden, is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in New York and New Jersey. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that she has a connection to Madison through her son, a graduate of the University of Wisconsin, and that she fondly remembers State Street and the Dane County Farmers’ Market.
For years, Borden used cooking to work through her own emotions, and that led to incorporating cooking into her clinical practice. Her easy-to-follow book is divided into specific relationship goals with corresponding recipes for all couples, not just married ones:
- Cook Your Sexually Out-of-Sync Marriage Happy
- Cook Your Stale Marriage Happy
- Cook Your Maybe-I-Made-a-Mistake Marriage Happy
- Cook Your Financially Frustrated Marriage Happy
I appreciated Borden’s conversational-style of writing–you really feel like she’s having a friendly chat with you. In fact, she adeptly uses metaphors in her recipes. For example, she discusses making one taco with all the ingredients you like and making another with ingredients your partner likes but you don’t to illustrate compromise.
Borden also emphasizes a thoughtful approach to cooking. For example, directions such as “Pour mixture over bread. As you pour think about how much you care that your marriage improves” may seem awkward, but it’s the same as, say, a golfer visualizing before swinging a club. Plus, the Mayo Clinic says that positive thinking can lead to better psychological and physical well-being, so I understand her rationale.
“With guided prompts and process, you can uncover your strengths and barriers in a strong, tangible way,” Borden said in a statement.
The self-described “sous therapist” also is the author of Lucky Me and A Little Bit Married. In addition to counseling, Borden has been a liaison and continues to be a resource for individuals, families and professionals seeking psychiatric and substance abuse help.
